It would be wonderful if every new life were free to be itself, if the dreams of boys and girls were pure. But they are not: their desires are influenced by the conditioning they absorb from the moment they are born. Becoming a parent is an opportunity to become aware of the automatisms with which we reinforce prejudices and gender stereotypes that poison our relationships, in order to provide the men and women of tomorrow with the tools to recognize them, instill in them antibodies, and nurture respect for differences and care for freedom.

Parenthood has changed faster than parents themselves: the proliferation of freedoms, for our sons and daughters, to define their own gender identity confronts us with an urgency, yet also an opportunity, to focus on the stereotypes in which we are immersed and which we run a serious risk of continuing to perpetuate. The power dynamics that polarize and divide masculinity and femininity —strength versus sensitivity, virility versus delicacy, tomboy versus girly girl— begin acting on children from birth. For those clichés that shape our relationships also constrain the choices we make as mothers and fathers, our language, and our gestures.

This is not a manual on how to become good parents: no training truly prepares us to raise a human being. Rather, it is a journey to undertake together in order to reveal and dismantle the legacy of a society that cultivates imbalances and divisions, to become aware of it and to pass on that awareness. For this unveiling, in Lorenzo Gasparrini’s toolbox, alongside his experience as a father, lie feminist philosophies: a vast heritage for confronting hierarchies, emotional bonds, and gender equality, as well as a precious resource for recognizing conditioning, fighting for respect of differences, and educating the men and women of tomorrow in freedom.

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